Articles
About Righteous Marriage
My first exposure to the division that the world encourages between men and women was back in elementary school. A time when boys proclaimed that girls were infested with a rare and deadly disease called cooties. Only then to have the girls protest by saying that we “must have gone to Jupiter to get more stupider.” The world is going to create division between men and women by having us focus on our differences. No matter what differences each of us has, we are all loved by God equally because He made us all with His likeness. Genesis 1:27 reads, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” God created us differently so that we can make the perfect team in glorifying Him. (Genesis 2:18-25)
In the New Testament, the apostle Paul tells us that each person must decide in their heart whether they will glorify God in a romantic or platonic partnership with the opposite gender. Paul himself advocates for the platonic. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 reads, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Later on in the chapter, he explains that the reason he advocates remaining single is due to focus. A married person has his or her interests divided between God, their spouse, and other worldly things. Yet, the single person is able to focus 100% of their energy into pleasing God. However, Paul is not completely against marriage as he understands that it is a God given institution. At the end of 1 Corinthians 7, he reminds us all that marriage is a lifelong devotion and that single or married, all baptized and committed children of God have His Spirit.
Regarding marriage the Bible tells us, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:1-7)
The world will encourage us to find issues with God’s view on marriage by focusing our minds on certain words. If we do this though we will miss the deeper meaning of these verses and the perfection of God’s design. Submission is not blind faith, it is placing trust in God. Both men and women are beneath God and should be submitting to Him, they just do it differently. In a marriage, a righteous woman shows her submission by supporting her husband and respecting his leadership. A righteous husband shows his submission to Christ by being willing to risk his life for his wife and loving her as he would himself. Whether it be in the moment or in his spiritual life, if a husband is not submitting himself to Christ as he should, then her righteous conduct and reverence will act as a shining light to him. Likewise, if a wife is struggling in her relationship with Christ, then his compassionate leadership will be a guide back to His righteous path.
Men and women are born naturally different and their roles in their marriage and even their bodies play off to their strengths and complement each other’s weaknesses. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reads, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Whether by a romantic marriage relationship or as being platonic brethren of His church, both genders spiritually encourage each other. No gender is better than another, they are simply different. Those differences allow us to give each other unique perspectives that we otherwise would not have and that leads to growth. However, when God is the focal point of that growth it leads to incomprehensible and eternal blessings.
