Overcoming Self-Doubts With God

            When was the last time you felt apprehensive about yourself, situation, or abilities? The self-doubt I struggle with the most came up again recently and it stems from medical insecurities. Due to being paralyzed and living with a rare disease, my body cannot physically handle a typical 8am-5pm job. As a result, I have an immense amount of downtime and my mind starts to worry about if I am doing enough for God. As James 4:17 says, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”

            However, when I act because of my anxiety, my motivation is wrong. This is because my heart is no longer seeking to glorify God, but it is under a compulsion to satisfy my own emotions. 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 reads, “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” Satan uses worry to distract God’s children from the desire to please Him and shining His light. Yet, God and His grace are enough to assure our spirits if we choose to rely on Him.

            1 John 3:19-23 says,” By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.” God’s grace is not earned. He freely abounds His children with grace because of His love for us. Through baptism, each person is merely accepting His free gift of grace.

            “Am I doing enough for God?” is the wrong question to ask myself. I should be asking, “Have I been baptized?” and “Am I living according to Christ’s teachings?” Rather than focusing on myself and my worries, the conversation needs to be directed back to God. Psalm 27:1-3 reads, “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident.” Satan wages war in our hearts and minds. If he cannot get us to doubt God then he will try stop us from carrying out His will by having us doubt ourselves. When doubts arise, rely on God and gain confidence by growing in your relationship with Him.